big bang

BIG BANG : AN UNFINISHED STORY


I am…I was…I shall….several I’S were echoing in the atmosphere. I got fed up of all these. “Doesn’t it look chaotic,” I thought. And I made ‘we’. Spherical in shape. All the I’s were circumscribed within that. “Now they all will be so closed to each other, making a harmonious whole. Constant company will get them together. Open hearted man...a miracle! Man – a social being, not animal. The best form of creative energy. Very soon my dreams will be fulfilled. All discriminations will be eliminated. Equality, liberty, fraternity. It will be something solid…like never before. Like a Rock.”

Now the ‘we’ appeared in the form of a huge atom. How happy I was to see that atom of humanity- all the I’s revolving in several orbits, around the central nucleus. And what was that nucleus? I thought it to be in the centre as all the I’s were still moving in orbits like obedient electrons. Those I’s also thought it to be in the center as they were feeling restricted by something. And the most amazing thing- there was neither a centre nor any nucleus. Wonder! What kept them together?
I marveled upon them as they remained bound to the vacuum of the central nucleus. Actually the model of ‘we’ was constructed within a sphere and all the electrons within it were moving against its wall. They kept revolving, running, and chasing after each other. One ‘I’ , two ‘I’ and all the I’s . Gradually increasing I’s, increasing run, increasing speed, increasing heat, increasing light…
Yes! My ‘we’ was shining. I was so glad; my ‘we’ was shining. A whole world together, shining like never before. “How dull those I’s were”, I was thinking when they congratulated me. ‘Idea’ was praising the ‘effort’ without letting him even imagine what the new ‘idea’ could be.

“boooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmm”
The enormous light confounded my vision.
For the first time I noticed some curiosity in his eyes. What’s curious about human beings? They have multiplicity of memory and all without life. Every era feeds them with a new memory. Only ghosts are immuned against this superb fertility of memory.
Light, heat, sound…light, heat, sound…. all I’s were running again. Away from each other. Away in infinite and unknown space. Senseless all; but all moving, away from each other. Away in infinite and unknown space. I saw them in despair, in disgust, in… and they were free, free and happy, and all else except ‘we’. I felt jealous as those hopeless merry-makers could not see those mocking eyes of many earlier failures. But I did. I was mortally pained.
His eyes were mockingly serious. “Wasn’t I telling just another BIG BANG story”, he might have thought.
Will this continue forever?
Will this stop someday?
Will this stop and be reversed?
I gradually vanished, just thinking about these things. My emancipation was still away as my memory couldn’t find even a single human mind. Perhaps creating a new one is easier than reviving an old one.
Suman kumar jha.